Helicopter Parenting: 4 Signs You Need to Let Go

signs you're a helicopter parentA helicopter parent is one that hovers around their child at all times, solving their problems and eliminating dangers. We’re not just talking about physical dangers here. Helicopter parents solve emotional, intellectual and social problems too – never giving their children a chance to figure it out for themselves.

Helicopter parenting isn’t protection; it’s overprotection. If you aren’t sure if you’re a helicopter parent, these signs will let you know.

1. You shield them from all failure

Failure is important. The only way we grow is to try something, fail, and learn from it. Ask any successful person how they got there and they’ll tell you stories of failure. If you block all the failing, they’ll never get to the learning. It’s a scary world, but your kids have to live in it too, which means they have to be prepared. You can’t protect them from everything.

2. You do things for your kids they can do themselves

It’s great that you want to be a helpful, involved mom or dad, but doing everything for your children isn’t healthy. Nor is it cruel or unkind to expect your kids to do some things on their own. You wouldn’t ask a four year old to clean out the garage, but a sixteen year old certainly can. The best way we learn is by doing, but if you’re always doing for your kids, they’ll never grow and develop.

3. You get involved in their conflicts

At a certain point, it’s important to let your children deal with their life problems themselves. Relationships with other children are great, but they usually aren’t life-lasting. That makes them great practice grounds for your kids to learn how to resolve conflicts and behave. But if you step in all the time, you’re robbing them of learning opportunities. Teach your kids tips on how to deal with other people, but let them actually do it.

4. You say “no” too much

Do you find yourself saying “no” constantly throughout the day? Usually this is because you’re preventing your kids from doing or saying something you feel is dangerous. But there’s a limit to how much you can keep them from. At a certain point, they’ll hear “no” so often that they won’t respect it (or you). It’s okay if your kids climb a tree or splash a puddle or wander a few feet away.

Do you feel you’re a helicopter parent?

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